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Dear Comcast,

Dealing with your "customer service" system is akin to the punishment of Prometheus, wherein every day my liver is ripped out and eaten by eagles, only to have it grow back overnight to be ripped out again. However, I would in no way describe your service to be as useful as Prometheus' gift of fire to mankind.

Just thinking of calling 1-800-COMCAST fills me with vitriol and hate. Before I even dial the numbers my blood pressure has risen to hypertensive levels; I am primed for spitting, frothing rage.

Your mechanical phone system is maniacal in its design. I congratulate you on your truly evil and diabolical achievements. I don't have the scientific data yet, but I suspect you have contributed significantly in the nation-wide rise in diagnosable mental illness, including depression, suicide, and that one that compels people to eat dirt and nails.

In fact, after calling your phone number and being told via electronic voice to call the very same number I had called and then was disconnected from literally 7 times, I became convinced that there was no God, as a loving and omnipresent deity could not possibly allow a company as wretched and unholy as yours to exist.

The painful process of dealing with your company is not isolated solely to telephonic implements. No, you have found a new and perverted way to slowly boil the souls of your customers (and, God forbid, potential customers) in oil. Your web chat function, which I attempted to use to increase my service and pay you more money, mind you, made me long for the days of your impenetrable phone systems. It took almost two hours for the representative to give me the information I wanted, which was only how much it would cost to have more cable, and then to arrange for that to happen.

In an entirely predictable turn of events, I have now cancelled that additional service. Other companies might wonder why I would do that so soon, as I'd only increased the service in the last month. Comcast, I'm sure, has absolutely no interest in my reasoning, but I'm going to tell you anyway, as my impotence in the matter has left me grappling emotionally for any outlet I can find.

I have come to the conclusion that your corrupt and villainous company is only propped up by a combination of the government's lack of enforcement of anti-trust laws and the personal blessing of Satan, the Prince of Darkness.

In addition, the services you do provide can only be described as the least-terrible option, in that they only occasionally function as advertised. Or perhaps they are functioning exactly as intended, and you merely have more depraved plans than I had originally imagined.

Why do you treat your customers so sadistically? I realize that we are simply a means to raise the stock price so your executives and investors can reap the benefit of my ongoing suffering, through subscription numbers and mergers with other loathsome companies to become one, giant, venomous machine. But does it not enter into your hearts to have pity on those of us left to endure the odium of your deeds? I see it cannot; your hearts are made of molding, rotting meat that cannot experience shame or remorse.

Indeed, your company has become such an anathema, that the only further business plan I can imagine you have is to take up killing babies and children in dark rituals to rip a dimensional hole in space and time that will engulf the world in the cold silence of the void, and will finally end our suffering.

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Anonymous
#158629

I just had to READ a Comcast customer service phone rep who tried to BS me into thinking that it was my fault that the scheduled cable techinician would not be able to come to my home until hours after the scheduled appointment.

They are the worst liars and I am thinking of switching to ATT u-verse.

The whole comcast system is run by inept, uneducated, low brows who let the technicians decide whether they want to complete a job or not, instead of taking orders like they are supposed to.

Anonymous
#138480

I used to work for an outsourcer that gives customer service from comcast...I cannot tell you how frustating it can to be to try to help a customer and not have the adecuate tools and support from them. It all started about a year ago when our system just simply stopped working regarding all monetary issues (ledger, payments, etc) we as reps couldnt see if you had made a payment, how much you owed, etc. We were told to do as best we could that the "glitch" in the system would correct itself at the most in the next weeks (obviously didnt happen took 6 months for that problem to be solved) in the meantime i cannot believe the amount of lying i did during that time to try to get a customer out of the way and get on with the next (given that the calls we recieve are abot 40% billing-60% tech support YES THEY HAVE A *** SERVICE!)i found myself lying 40% of the time during my job, i hate myself for that to this day and was the primary reason i quit. I went into a serious case of depression thanks to my employer,which didnt care about us their employees.

That just tells you if your own company doesnt care for you as an employee imagine how much they care about ther customers.

The only thing i can recommend you guys is get the dish, either driecttv or dish network, i know comcast flashes you with the 3 for 1 combos they have but i just think it is more healthy to just avoid all those problems youll have with comast and pay a little bit extra to not go to through those hassels.

skythelimit
#123396

The truth is Comcast does not care about their customers, they just care about numbers. For customer service rep does not any supervisor's support, thats reason you get transfered constantly.

Customer service representatives have to make sure they resolve technical problems within 9 minutes, if representatives still on a call after the 9 minutes, representatives are harass constantly by supervisors, and operations. They have people on the floor making sure representatives finish their call as soon as possible, even if representatives are in their weekly manager meetings, system issues, still affect them, that company does not have a good operations system, to work on exceptions.

I know all this because I had a few friends working for Comcast, most of them have resigned due that work was too extremely stressful, some of them still remain looking for another job, due to the bad economy. That's the reason why customer service rep are rude, the company does not care about customer service just numbers.

Anonymous
#110134

Can I tell you I spent 3 HOURS holding for customer service today to get help activating my digital receiver and the adapter for another TV? My phone battery went dead before anyone answered the phone!

Fortunately I was texting a technician online when the phone quit. I told the person I was talking to online how long I'd been holding and he couldn't believe it! I didn't get my problem solved, hopefully end of this week.

Their customer service is lacking to say the least. When you spend over $100 per month for cable and internet you expect quality.

Anonymous
#107307

Haa. I am feeling better after reading this.Just re-cancelled my service which I was billed even after I cancelled it a week ago. Every single time I call them they dont have the record of my previous call..WTH

Anonymous
#107079

WOW......... best piece I've read on this site yet!

You......

are to be commended!!

AND...... as a current Comcast subscriber, I do feel your pain!

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